Catty
It was Chrismas-eve, late at night. It was cold and it had snowed a lot. Alex, Jasmine, Mum and Dad came home. They had just visited grandma. They should drink a hot chocolate and after that is was it time to go to bed. Alex and Jasmine ran to the front door to open it. “Ouch!” Alex cried. He stumbled over something. “What was that?” Alex and Jasmine could not believe their eyes. There was an old woman lying in front of their house. The old woman woke up and said with a friendly voice “Help me please.” Jasmine and Alex were frightened to death and ran back to the car. “Mum, Dad” they cried. “There is an old lady lying there and she wants us to help her”. “We can do that” Dad said. “It’s incredibly cold and we have enough beds.” “Let’s see, where is she lying, in front of the door?” “Alex, Jasmine, I do not see an old woman, are you joking?” “There is only a cat here,” Dad said. “No, we are not joking!” Alex and Jasmine cried. “There was really an old lady. But could we take the cat inside? Please?” “Ok, ok, it is Christmas-eve so why not” Dad said. The cat was wet and cold and seemed extremely happy that she may came in. Mum opened a tin with fish for the cat and Dad prepared the chocolate for the children. Catty (they called the cat for “Catty”) finished her fish in a minute, she was really hungry. For Jasmine and Alex was it time to put on their pyjamas and go to bed. “Good night Mum and Dad, good night Catty.” They went to bed en slept quickly, dreaming about how they should play with Catty tomorrow morning….
Alright! The main issue I have with your story is the absence of divisions into paragraphs. If nothing else, you could have used line breaks and indents for the dialogue.
SvaraRadera